I don't know how accurate AI tranlation will be, but this sounds about right:
"I became depressed and my personality changed 180 degrees.
As an AV director, I want to create emotionally stirring dramas where I also enjoy acting as the girls I keep coming up with; as an actress, I want to explore the infinite fetishes that exist in the world; I want to earn money and do activities that help bloom the talents of motivated kids out there... I was doing my best for all the many things I wanted to do.
But both as a director and an actress I became unable to do any of my creator activities or idol work.
I became able to do nothing but stare at the ceiling.
Even after recovering to the point where I can work to make a living,
I no longer see any meaning in living, other than [not dying] for Papa's sake.
Because I used to be so active, I hate and hate my current self so much I can't stand it."
It's unclear what she means by "papa" - might be partner, sugar daddy, or her actual father. Either way she clearly is talking about burnout and mental issues she's been struggling with