To those who can't talk to girls...

Ceewan

Famished
Jul 23, 2008
9,152
17,033
Almost every girl I've dated has been Korean or Japanese (majority Korean) so it may very well be a cultural thing. Of course it's also a common misconception that Korean girls are huge bitches that won't let their BF have a life outside of them but I've never had that happen to me. If my GFs don't like something I'm doing, they'll go do something else, they won't bitch me out for no reason, that's not what a relationship is for. And for the record these aren't like one week relationships, I've had one for 4.5 years, 5 for 6 months and a couple for around 3 months, all of which except one (one of the 6 months) I broke off, not them. The time I was dumped was because I was in Korea, she was in Vancouver and she couldn't handle being apart for so long.

Really? Okay. But it is like nothing I have ever seen or heard of before. It does not sound like a cultural difference to me, just totally alien.

If my GFs don't like something I'm doing, they'll go do something else
Now this is not totally unheard of yet I have never known it to be something that is a rule. Generally a relationship also means sharing each others interests and spending lots of time together.
True: spending time away from each other is both healthy and good for any relationship, no one likes to feel smothered.
False: is that a man in a relationship can do what he wants and when he wants to do it with no regard as to how his partner feels about it. This is a recipe for disaster in any partnership.

they won't bitch me out for no reason, that's not what a relationship is for
I do not mean to be a pest here but I have a huge problem with that as well. Everyone is an asshole sooner or later and will bitch at the ones they care about for little or no apparent reason. Overlooking these defects in your partner and making up after silly arguments is natural to any relationship I have ever been a part of or known others to be involved in. Add in that a pregnant woman or a woman on her menstrual cycle has a proven track record for being a total unreasonable bitch at times.......

I mean you must have known other relationships. You know what I am saying here is spot on.

Now casual relationships are a different matter but since they are not usually "exclusive" relationships I do not think they really count here. I mean if you do not see each other often and you can screw other people it really is not much of a relationship is it. However if you are referring to "casual relationships", even long standing ones, at least I would find some of these comments more credible. No offense intended, you are just trying to describe a new color to me and I am having trouble picturing it.
 
Oct 6, 2007
405
9
None of these are casual relationships, they are all exclusive. I don't believe a casual relationship to be a "real" relationship. Loving someone is to love them for who they are despite their flaws because that is a part of who they are. Not changing them to suit your needs. I generally don't use a computer when I'm with my GF in the first place because, well why would I feel the need to? Some of my GFs don't like it when I play games, some like to watch, but they never tell me "you're not allowed to play games when I am in the vicinity" because that is outright controlling and rude. I'd never tell my GF what she can and can't do because I do not own her and she does not own me. Thinking you can control someone is not a power struggle, it's outright insane.

One of my friends who is a female, who I've known for over 2 years met a new guy around 6 months ago and when I was leaving Canada for Korea he told her "I don't like you seeing him so often, you can't see him." because he felt jealous when she was just trying to spend time with me before I left. She broke up with him because that's a fucking stupid thing to say. You can't make someone change just because you don't like it and once again, that isn't love.

To add a bit more creditbility assuming you believe me, I have lived with many of my GFs for months at a time before they go back to Japan/Korea because in Canada I tended to date a lot of international students and we never had stupid arguements like that. I'm not going to give up playing videogames because I live with my GF, it's a way to relax and unwind (although I'm not excessive, maybe 1 hour a day max, if even that). My most recent GF actually didn't like games at all but she massaged me while I played and never said a word about it, I'm suppose that's a minority of girls, but they do exist.
 

aznvietguy411

New Member
Oct 14, 2009
32
0
For certain guys they find it hard to talk to girls. Either bad experience or just shy. To be honest I used to be shy until after my first real girlfriend then after that I just became really confident in myself. The thing is that it's not that they can't talk to girls, it's just a matter of finding the confidence to talk to them. For guys it's difficult because when trying to talk to a girl, their minds go into overdrive to a point where they doubt themselves. They second think what they want to talk about, ask them, etc. Plus for guys, they want the girls to like them, so if a guy plays lots of games and the girl doesn't like it, he'll be turned off and turn the other way. It's just a matter of self-esteem, confidence and knowing what to say, what to ask, and how to be respectful.
 
Oct 6, 2007
405
9
For certain guys they find it hard to talk to girls. Either bad experience or just shy. To be honest I used to be shy until after my first real girlfriend then after that I just became really confident in myself. The thing is that it's not that they can't talk to girls, it's just a matter of finding the confidence to talk to them. For guys it's difficult because when trying to talk to a girl, their minds go into overdrive to a point where they doubt themselves. They second think what they want to talk about, ask them, etc. Plus for guys, they want the girls to like them, so if a guy plays lots of games and the girl doesn't like it, he'll be turned off and turn the other way. It's just a matter of self-esteem, confidence and knowing what to say, what to ask, and how to be respectful.

Great post, I'm assuming you know how to talk to girls because you really know your shit. Everyone should take this advice to heart.