Otaku with girlfriend who is jealous of my Gravure and H-anime obsession

[Fazeshot]

So I have been in a relationship for about 8 months now with this girl.. she also likes anime and manga and japanese culture but she isn't what you would call an "otaku" but she was fully aware of my interest in ero stuff and gravure when we got into this relationship...


Now I know what you guys are gonna say... Well its wrong ur looking at other women.... mainly the stuff I would watch was Young idols because I have kind of a sister complex... and as far as H-anime goes... I truly only enjoy the art that comes with the hentai It does nothing sexually for me...


So yes I play ero games... and of course this irks her.... Recently I've been playing 3D Custom Shoujo and I don't even play the H stuff or dress them up all slutty I just like to create different characters in it.. and every freakin time she gets JEALOUS and then we get into these big arguements..... I find it hard to quit these things but I love her dearly and want to spend the rest of my life with her.... But i tell her and I do this stuff IN FRONT OF her and i talk about it wtih her but it always ends the same with her being jealous....

What do you guys suggest I do? please treat the topic nicely because I am truly a good guy. :giveup:

 

[Onichan81]

Well, the problem can be solved very easily: speak with her.

I also have a girlfriend for 9 months now and the first day I told her, here in Spain, not of my gravure fandom, but also that I have porn on my pc, but it doesn´t affect our relationship because it´s only a fantasy, I really love her and that is what must be the most important thing for her. Just one thing: I´ve never seen porn in front of her!!!

I know I´m from Spain and you´re from JP and maybe your gf doesn´t thinks the same, but just talk to her and state all the things clearly...

 

[Rhinosaur]

Well, the problem can be solved very easily: spank her.

Fixed your post for you!

 

[Ceewan]

Interesting solution Rhinosaur. In my own way I have to agree.

Before you read my reply any further Fazeshot you should know that taking relationship advice from me is not a good idea. I have failed in more relationships than you can shake a stick at. In sooth I would be better served in telling someone how to get rid of a girl than keeping one. I am not saying I can't get a girl but it never lasts long,(and I am actually okay with that at the moment).

First off girls never tell you exactly what is wrong. Personally I call it lying but they really hate when you tell them that. I am not saying they are unfamiliar with the term honesty but when it comes to expressing themselves they expect you to be a mind reader. So if they say they are pissed at one thing, you can bet your cookies they are pissed off about something else.

In this particular instance my guess would be she could give a crap about the games and the porn. What she hates is them getting the attention from you that she desires to have. There is no middle ground here. If you want to play games or whatever you have to do it when she is not around. I am not saying give into her either, once she knows she can push you around it will become a habit and she will lose respect for you. If you really like her and want her to stick around this is probably the best way to do it. If she is around all the damn time,(I really hate the clingy or needy ones), then find her a hobby or something away from home so you will have some time to indulge yourself.

 

[ShanksYYZ]

Honestly the problem probably isn't gravure or h anime, usually women will make a big deal out of this type of thing when there's some underlying problem in the relationship.

 

[ane-san]

Honestly the problem probably isn't gravure or h anime, usually women will make a big deal out of this type of thing when there's some underlying problem in the relationship.

oi oi not quite true =) there are girls who would play such games with their bf, and it wouldn`t make them even a bit jelaous haha :bingo:

I guess she shouldn`t worry about you playing such games at all, in the end, it`s her you go in bed with,not some 2D chick, right?:ridiculed:

 

[vietxmikey]

oi oi not quite true =) there are girls who would play such games with their bf, and it wouldn`t make them even a bit jelaous haha :bingo:

I guess she shouldn`t worry about you playing such games at all, in the end, it`s her you go in bed with,not some 2D chick, right?:ridiculed:

So agree with you.

But yeah according to everyone here. The best way to solve this is just to talk to her. Not much to be said. :|

 

[BudEWiser]

IMHO if the fighting is going on now, this short of a way into the relationship, it will be worse 1 year, 3 years from now if you DO stick it out.
There is more to it than she is letting on, and you guys need to get it out in the open NOW. If she won't talk about it do this....
Quit playing the games and looking at the stuff. In under a month I bet she will pick apart something else you are doing that she "doesn't approve of". Then you will have it, time to kick her to the curb and find someone who can accept you the way you are, and not try to play the bullshit games of trying to change you.

You need to set boundries. DO not accept anything that crosses those. You will be a stronger individual because of it.

 

[Syobon]

It's time to choose, take the blue pill and forgot everything about the 2D and ero world and the truth about how awesome it is, you will wake up with your girl and both of you are happy, or take the red pill and dump she.
Serious now, I agree with Bud, it will probably get worse some day, I think is hard to find a girl who fully accept our hobby or "way of life", any time.

 

[scarletsnow]

When you have a girlfriend why would you want to play some silly computer game instead of playing with her. So buy several sexy outfits, some coloured wigs, a set of breast enhancement pads and bras and dress her up and create all kinds of different characters.

 

[Ceewan]

When you have a girlfriend why would you want to play some silly computer game instead of playing with her. So buy several sexy outfits, some coloured wigs, a set of breast enhancement pads and bras and dress her up and create all kinds of different characters.

I don't know if I agree with that. Reality is important, no doubt, but taking a break from reality is nice as well. Real life fantasies can not be counted on to bring you distraction from the harsh realities of everyday existence. It would be nice if they could.

On the other hand your ideas do have some merit in a twisted perverted sense I can appreciate. They are nice ideas to spice up ones sex life.

 

[scarletsnow]

Chances are his girfriend will not respond with 'sure, let's do that now'.

Also people look at you weird when as a guy you stand in line at the till with a set of bras in a whole range of sizes.

 

[dlkvel]

But i tell her and I do this stuff IN FRONT OF her and i talk about it wtih her but it always ends the same with her being jealous....

You're trying to do the right thing, but doing it in her face isn't always the best choice. Actually quite often, eg now, it's really not the way to go. Anyone who tells you a successful relationship is 100% truth and 100% transparency is living in a fantasy world.

Maybe she just doesn't like that game for some reason....

I've played(?) 3dSex Villa with my wife a few times. She's even asked me to have a go and play around with it herself too.
The difference is that she spends an hour putting on makeup, nice clothes, customising the girl etc etc....

Well its wrong ur looking at other women.... mainly the stuff I would watch was Young idols

Without knowing either of you at all. The junior idol stuff is causing you more problems than the dirty computer game.

So, dude. Take some advice here.

Watch some normal 18+ porn with her!!!! Not weird shit to begin with either, not bukkake, gangbangs and whatever else. Work up to it... She will get curious, they always do.

Also, get over your little sister thing, or masturbate to kids in your own time. NO WOMAN YOU WANT TO SPEND SIGNIFICANT AMOUNTS OF TIME WITH WOULD WANT TO WATCH THAT STUFF.

That is very very likely to be the issue there...

She thinks that Computer game girls = little idol girls in your head = huge arguement. Maybe. It would piss me off and I'm not even female.
Women are all crazy somehow, but if my Mrs was looking at young boys in notPorno I'd be pretty unhappy about it too.

SO, what's some good porn to watch with your lady ?

Look for anything by "Marc Dorcel". He's a very very very well known producer, who's been making pornos since before you were even born. Good ones. With hot bitches, decent sex and stuff women like too. Win++. It's PERFECT for watching with your gf/wife/whatever. It's kinda hard but classy and sexy.

Work up to harder stuff, Private etc. Seriously, go download or buy some of his stuff, if she's not into that, I would be surprised.

Go download some new porno WITH her... Let her choose. Ask her what she likes, what she wants to see. Pay attention to what she likes and what she's all funny about...

My wife spent 2 hours watching max hardcore videos the other night since she was in the mood for porn. She hates JAV though (she's Japanese). I found white girls are happy to watch it, but they're all different.

She would never in a million years want to watch Anime/Hentai/etc though. I bet you 99.99% of other women won't either. As someone who's spent a lot of time getting normal girls to do weird things (I worked in porn industry for years) ... anime/hentai is a waste of your time. So if you must, watch it by yourself.

Better yet, go to the local adult shop and go toy shopping Buy a nice japanese dildo, and whatever else takes your fancy. Sexy lingere is easy. Costumes are a bit harder - the trick is to let her choose the first one or two. Once you get started it's all downhill from there.

Tip: Don't buy cheap dildos. Ever! They're a total waste of your money.
$60-$100+ will get you something you'll never throw away.

When you're in the shop, Make her feel comfortable and good about it. Don't be shy, talk to the staff, if they're not friendly etc just go elsewhere. I find the people who work in such places are nearly always cool and nice to talk to anyway.


The best ways to get women into anything like this are;

0) Start small. Plant an idea and let it grow.
(eg. Threesomes: Just say one day at random, "I can't imagine why women would wanna have sex with a big ugly hairy dude when women are so gorgeous and lovely"... she will think about that. )

1) Get them involved in it, do it together. Let them suggest things rather than you "trying" to get her to do stuff. And honestly, if she is always a prude about this sorta thing, there's 3billion other women out there, and believe me a lot of them are 100% up for it

2) I personally wouldn't bother trying to watch hentai or anime with a woman ever.

Remember: 18+ humans.


P.S. Listen to her to understand her feelings, not necessarily what she's literally saying.

P.P.S. Other people have said they're upfront about porno etc etc in the beginning of relationships. GOOD ADVICE!!!! I tell girls I'm a fucking deviant, that I worked in the porn biz for years (all true) and make 0% effort to hide it

This has turned into a an offtopic mega-rant. I hope this helps your predicament. I've got to go out, but I might come back and tidy this post up later.