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The low-points of living in Japan

Discussion in 'Japan Discussion' started by shinjiIII, Oct 22, 2016.

  1. shinjiIII

    shinjiIII Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure who else on this forum lives here at the moment, but I thought I'd start a topic about some of the tough points of living here in Japan.

    I think one of the points for myself is the feeling of loneliness at times. Moreso the fact that after all of the time you spent building solid long relationships with people essentially starts from square one again. Granted, it's extremely easy to find a fling or a female friend here, but as a guy, it's harder to find a few guys to grab a beer with.
  2. Casshern2

    Casshern2 Senior Member...I think

    Not to make light of your loneliness, which I'm sure is genuine, that's the kind of problem I'd want to have. ;)
    tylersailer and shinjiIII like this.
  3. Inertia

    Inertia Well-Known Member

    Low point is definitely the winter when living in a house w/ no central heating. It's almost upon us once again and this time I'm prepared with my alpaca socks ( https://www.maximusandpenelope.com/ ).

    In terms of loneliness, I think it's a universal issue when living in large cities; so many people yet nobody knows (or cares) for each other. I used to live in a big city and now am deep in the boondocks where the population is not doing so hot, but it's much more close-knit. I definitely don't recommend this route if you're still single as eligible bachelors (and bachelorettes) are very few, but once you're married, it may be a viable option.
    shinjiIII and tylersailer like this.
  4. barba

    barba we all make mistakes

    years ago i lived in sweden. and one of the national jokes was that in winter, everybody there sits at home hoping for someone to come visit them. but no one ever does; because everyone is busy sitting at home hoping for someone to come visit them.



    you can get tired of blondes. you can.
    ReiOtaku and tylersailer like this.
  5. tylersailer

    tylersailer Member

    Hey Shinjilll if you are in Tokyo (or surrounding) area and need some friends for beer, don't hesitate to hit me up! Or you can try "meetup" it's a social gathering site. May people use it for meeting new people or for English study. I'm sure you have a decent chance to meet with like-minded people.

    I know the feeling of loneliness. As Inertia says it is a universal thing. I guess it is more prevalent in Tokyo. People pays so little attention in Tokyo. I will not be surprised if there was a dead body and no body reports him for a long period of time. It's funny though. We all are lonely but we do little to fill the gap. Laziness? Fear of taking risk? I don't know. What I know is I am scared of admitting the loneliness. But I'm more scared of ending up in total loneliness because I did not try to change it.

    Anyway, so, beer sometimes perhaps?
    Cheers mate.
    Saka Okada, shinjiIII and CoolKevin like this.
  6. shinjiIII

    shinjiIII Well-Known Member

    Those are intense socks!

    Yeah I have to agree. As awesome as it is to live in a big city for several entertainment perks, i feel it does lack a sense of community. On the flip side, when I visited a friend up north in a small town of only 4000, everyone knows everyone, and everyone talks to everyone. However my friend has told me it can feel rather isolating, especially in the winter. I suppose it's finding a routine or habit to keep yourself out of whatever rut you may be in.


    I shot you a PM!

    First world problem, for sure. :cool:
  7. AnitaYeh

    AnitaYeh Active Member

    It's gotta be hard. It depends how much you fit in with the beer crowd. If you don't beer it's hard to join up.
  8. Auto455

    Auto455 New Member

    Meeting people? Well, one can do volunteer works and/or join religious gathering (going to church) or befriend with fellows co-worker.
  9. hairy_bush

    hairy_bush SLF Refugee

    Yes I'm in Japan too, and I wholeheartedly agree with you, pussy galore but they make horrible conversation partners if you want to have real discussions not involving makeup, shopping, or tv talent.

    A lot of expat friends start new hobbies or join 'circles' (tennis, volleyball)

    In my area, brewing your own beer is quite popular,

    for me DIY around my house, taking care of my fish pond, growing vegetables, teaching Japanese friends about cigars, craft beers and Costco
    Saka Okada and tylersailer like this.
  10. gaijin2006

    gaijin2006 New Member

    I lived in Japan for four years (one year in Hokkaido, three in Chiba). I loved it, but for most foreigners, employment is pretty much limited to teaching English. I knew a few people who broke out of the ESL industry, but they ended up living the lives of Japanese salarymen, working long hours and constantly under stress. Towards the end, most of my good friends were those who, like me, were married to Japanese citizens and were staying long term.
  11. Superb Dam

    Superb Dam New Member

    Is it hard to communicate with them if i don't speak japanese?
  12. gaijin2006

    gaijin2006 New Member

    Most Japanese speak the basics, and compared to a lot of other languages, Japanese is relatively easy to pick up. I arrived via South Korea, and only knew how to count to 10 and say basic greetings and "thank you", thanks to my Karate classes. I was in a medium sized city in a remote part of Hokkaido, and one of only a handful of foreigners there, so I was forced to pick it up via necessity. I really didn't have a problem. English is one of the core subjects in Japanese schools, and you'll find that most young people will know some of the language, even if they giggle while speaking.
  13. secrets002

    secrets002 Member

    Could you elaborate on this