I learned from JAV.....also works IRL.. (Joke/Parody/Make fun)

GemeralMarcus

Member
Sep 11, 2020
82
89
Disclaimer : This is just for joke/parody/make-fun. This is light-hearted post for giggles/laugh. (And indirectly shows that I probably watched a little bit too many JAVs. If you're offended or something, perhaps this isn't for you).

These things, I learned from JAV, I'm quite sure they'll also work in real life.

* If you like/love a girl, you can make her like/love you, too...... by raping her. If it doesn't work, r*** her again and again and again.....it could take days, but don't worry, she'll fall madly in love with you in the end.

* Don't you know? Your spouse/GF/BF has visibility range not more than 1m (3.2feet). It's true. You can fuck another person w/o being caught, near your spouse, as long as the other person is not in direct line-sight from your spouse. They're kinda deaf, too.

* Wanna r*** that pretty wife next door, but afraid of being caught? Police? Jail? No worries. She won't call anybody, and if the husband finds out, there won't be any physical/verbal/etc retaliation at all. She'll blame herself, he'll blame himself, and you won't get any blame.....because you know you're the only innocent party here. And keep raping her after he finds out, it's okay.

* You love blowjobs? I do... a lot... (Hmm.... blowjobs). But do you know that you can force a girl to do blowjobs without any risk of being bitten-off? Push her head down for a throat-fuck, it's safe. Don't believe me, try it on that hot convinience store cashier girl that I know you've been eyeing about. You can thank me later.

* Some girls just don't appreciate the sex god that you are. But you can always secretly feed her "aphrodisiac". It'll make their frontal cortex totally shut down. Like mindless zombies but instead of ....."Braainnnss..", they say "Cooocckkss...." no matter where they are of when it is. That "aprhrodisiac" will open they eyes to the sex god that is you and worship you.

If you find out any more tips from JAVs, feel free to add. Hopefully they'll help all of us to get happy relationships in real life, too.
 

rweimar

Member
Jan 9, 2013
41
37
Hopefully this is in the same "spirit" as GemeralMarcus' post.

*If you have a wonderful wife/girl friend:
never let her out of your sight.
don't let her go get a message.
don't let her go to any office functions without you.
don't let your brother/cousin/father come live with you.
don't drink when you go to any parties with your wife.
don't let your wife take the garbage out.
don't let your wife talk to the neighbor next door.
don't invite your boss or colleagues over for dinner.
don't go out drinking with boss/colleague and get drunk and let them bring you home.
don't let her answer the door after you leave for work.
 
Apr 26, 2020
36
26
Disclaimer : This is just for joke/parody/make-fun. This is light-hearted post for giggles/laugh. (And indirectly shows that I probably watched a little bit too many JAVs. If you're offended or something, perhaps this isn't for you).

These things, I learned from JAV, I'm quite sure they'll also work in real life.

* Not only is your GF/spouse deaf and sight-limited, but everyone in Japan is. Feel free to r*** a girl on the bus or train - no one will notice.

* Have your buddies/coworkers r*** a girl until she becomes a raging nymphomaniac.

* All it takes to summon a hot succubus is a piece of paper and a marker.

* Lockers are big enough for two people to have sex in and are totally sound-proof (this is a VR movie thing)

* If you and your classmates r*** the teacher, she will keep coming back to work.
 

PK Atomsk

Member
Jul 10, 2009
35
11
Disclaimer : This is just for joke/parody/make-fun. This is light-hearted post for giggles/laugh. (And indirectly shows that I probably watched a little bit too many JAVs. If you're offended or something, perhaps this isn't for you).

These things, I learned from JAV, I'm quite sure they'll also work in real life.

No means yes, yes means anal.
 

topofthepops

Member
May 1, 2020
41
32
These things, I learned from JAV, I'm quite sure they'll also work in real life.

* If you like/love a girl, you can make her like/love you, too...... by raping her. If it doesn't work, r*** her again and again and again.....it could take days, but don't worry, she'll fall madly in love with you in the end.

* Don't you know? Your spouse/GF/BF has visibility range not more than 1m (3.2feet). It's true. You can fuck another person w/o being caught, near your spouse, as long as the other person is not in direct line-sight from your spouse. They're kinda deaf, too.

* Wanna r*** that pretty wife next door, but afraid of being caught? Police? Jail? No worries. She won't call anybody, and if the husband finds out, there won't be any physical/verbal/etc retaliation at all. She'll blame herself, he'll blame himself, and you won't get any blame.....because you know you're the only innocent party here. And keep raping her after he finds out, it's okay.

* You love blowjobs? I do... a lot... (Hmm.... blowjobs). But do you know that you can force a girl to do blowjobs without any risk of being bitten-off? Push her head down for a throat-fuck, it's safe. Don't believe me, try it on that hot convinience store cashier girl that I know you've been eyeing about. You can thank me later.

* Some girls just don't appreciate the sex god that you are. But you can always secretly feed her "aphrodisiac". It'll make their frontal cortex totally shut down. Like mindless zombies but instead of ....."Braainnnss..", they say "Cooocckkss...." no matter where they are of when it is. That "aprhrodisiac" will open they eyes to the sex god that is you and worship you.

Best post on this forum , made me laugh out loud , nailed it !
 

periph

Active Member
Sep 28, 2012
286
194
Hopefully this is in the same "spirit" as GemeralMarcus' post.

*If you have a wonderful wife/girl friend:
never let her out of your sight.
don't let her go get a message.
don't let her go to any office functions without you.
don't let your brother/cousin/father come live with you.
don't drink when you go to any parties with your wife.
don't let your wife take the garbage out.
don't let your wife talk to the neighbor next door.
don't invite your boss or colleagues over for dinner.
don't go out drinking with boss/colleague and get drunk and let them bring you home.
don't let her answer the door after you leave for work.

Definitely don't let her go overnight business trips with her boss or co-workers.
Don't let her go out without a raincoat and umbrella so she doesn't get soaked when it rains.
Don't let any deliveries or repairmen come to the house.
Don't let her hang any laundry outside, especially her underwear.
Don't let her go to any school reunions.
Don't let her invite over any long-time school or childhood friends, if they are male. (But if they are female, you should definitely let them come visit or stay over for the weekend.)
Do let her invite her younger sister to come stay as long as she needs to.
 

asianbooblover

Akiba Citizen
Jun 20, 2007
1,674
877
Whatever you d0.. never let your mother-in-law stay with you and your wife,, especially if she has big titties and you catch her masturbating after watching you and your wife have sex..also. keep that bathroom door closed when you bathe..she will be peeking in and playing wit herself...