The low-points of living in Japan

shinjiIII

Well-Known Member
May 23, 2010
172
386
I'm not sure who else on this forum lives here at the moment, but I thought I'd start a topic about some of the tough points of living here in Japan.

I think one of the points for myself is the feeling of loneliness at times. Moreso the fact that after all of the time you spent building solid long relationships with people essentially starts from square one again. Granted, it's extremely easy to find a fling or a female friend here, but as a guy, it's harder to find a few guys to grab a beer with.
 

Casshern2

Senior Member...I think
Mar 22, 2008
6,607
13,834
Granted, it's extremely easy to find a fling or a female friend here, but as a guy, it's harder to find a few guys to grab a beer with.
Not to make light of your loneliness, which I'm sure is genuine, that's the kind of problem I'd want to have. ;)
 

Inertia

Akiba Citizen
Apr 2, 2015
1,266
1,080
Low point is definitely the winter when living in a house w/ no central heating. It's almost upon us once again and this time I'm prepared with my alpaca socks ( https://www.maximusandpenelope.com/ ).

In terms of loneliness, I think it's a universal issue when living in large cities; so many people yet nobody knows (or cares) for each other. I used to live in a big city and now am deep in the boondocks where the population is not doing so hot, but it's much more close-knit. I definitely don't recommend this route if you're still single as eligible bachelors (and bachelorettes) are very few, but once you're married, it may be a viable option.
 

barba

we all make mistakes
Jun 6, 2007
425
451
years ago i lived in sweden. and one of the national jokes was that in winter, everybody there sits at home hoping for someone to come visit them. but no one ever does; because everyone is busy sitting at home hoping for someone to come visit them.



you can get tired of blondes. you can.
 

tylersailer

Member
Jan 24, 2011
69
61
Hey Shinjilll if you are in Tokyo (or surrounding) area and need some friends for beer, don't hesitate to hit me up! Or you can try "meetup" it's a social gathering site. May people use it for meeting new people or for English study. I'm sure you have a decent chance to meet with like-minded people.

I know the feeling of loneliness. As Inertia says it is a universal thing. I guess it is more prevalent in Tokyo. People pays so little attention in Tokyo. I will not be surprised if there was a dead body and no body reports him for a long period of time. It's funny though. We all are lonely but we do little to fill the gap. Laziness? Fear of taking risk? I don't know. What I know is I am scared of admitting the loneliness. But I'm more scared of ending up in total loneliness because I did not try to change it.

Anyway, so, beer sometimes perhaps?
Cheers mate.
 

shinjiIII

Well-Known Member
May 23, 2010
172
386
Low point is definitely the winter when living in a house w/ no central heating. It's almost upon us once again and this time I'm prepared with my alpaca socks ( https://www.maximusandpenelope.com/ ).

In terms of loneliness, I think it's a universal issue when living in large cities; so many people yet nobody knows (or cares) for each other. I used to live in a big city and now am deep in the boondocks where the population is not doing so hot, but it's much more close-knit. I definitely don't recommend this route if you're still single as eligible bachelors (and bachelorettes) are very few, but once you're married, it may be a viable option.

Those are intense socks!

Yeah I have to agree. As awesome as it is to live in a big city for several entertainment perks, i feel it does lack a sense of community. On the flip side, when I visited a friend up north in a small town of only 4000, everyone knows everyone, and everyone talks to everyone. However my friend has told me it can feel rather isolating, especially in the winter. I suppose it's finding a routine or habit to keep yourself out of whatever rut you may be in.


Hey Shinjilll if you are in Tokyo (or surrounding) area and need some friends for beer, don't hesitate to hit me up! Or you can try "meetup" it's a social gathering site. May people use it for meeting new people or for English study. I'm sure you have a decent chance to meet with like-minded people.

I know the feeling of loneliness. As Inertia says it is a universal thing. I guess it is more prevalent in Tokyo. People pays so little attention in Tokyo. I will not be surprised if there was a dead body and no body reports him for a long period of time. It's funny though. We all are lonely but we do little to fill the gap. Laziness? Fear of taking risk? I don't know. What I know is I am scared of admitting the loneliness. But I'm more scared of ending up in total loneliness because I did not try to change it.

Anyway, so, beer sometimes perhaps?
Cheers mate.

I shot you a PM!

Not to make light of your loneliness, which I'm sure is genuine, that's the kind of problem I'd want to have. ;)

First world problem, for sure. :cool:
 
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AnitaYeh

Active Member
Dec 24, 2010
451
58
It's gotta be hard. It depends how much you fit in with the beer crowd. If you don't beer it's hard to join up.
 

Auto455

New Member
Mar 29, 2016
18
4
Meeting people? Well, one can do volunteer works and/or join religious gathering (going to church) or befriend with fellows co-worker.
 

hairy_bush

SLF Refugee
May 20, 2016
6,836
19,939
Yes I'm in Japan too, and I wholeheartedly agree with you, pussy galore but they make horrible conversation partners if you want to have real discussions not involving makeup, shopping, or tv talent.

A lot of expat friends start new hobbies or join 'circles' (tennis, volleyball)

In my area, brewing your own beer is quite popular,

for me DIY around my house, taking care of my fish pond, growing vegetables, teaching Japanese friends about cigars, craft beers and Costco
 

gaijin2006

Member
May 25, 2016
33
16
I lived in Japan for four years (one year in Hokkaido, three in Chiba). I loved it, but for most foreigners, employment is pretty much limited to teaching English. I knew a few people who broke out of the ESL industry, but they ended up living the lives of Japanese salarymen, working long hours and constantly under stress. Towards the end, most of my good friends were those who, like me, were married to Japanese citizens and were staying long term.
 

gaijin2006

Member
May 25, 2016
33
16
Most Japanese speak the basics, and compared to a lot of other languages, Japanese is relatively easy to pick up. I arrived via South Korea, and only knew how to count to 10 and say basic greetings and "thank you", thanks to my Karate classes. I was in a medium sized city in a remote part of Hokkaido, and one of only a handful of foreigners there, so I was forced to pick it up via necessity. I really didn't have a problem. English is one of the core subjects in Japanese schools, and you'll find that most young people will know some of the language, even if they giggle while speaking.