Relationship...

Mushibito

New Member
Sep 19, 2009
28
3
Hello all; I have a conundrum that I am facing and (of course) it's about a woman. Me and her have known each other for about 10 years and for 3 of those years I have been in love with her from afar... or lust I'm not sure. But recently I gathered the courage to tell her how I feel... sadly before I could tell her she told me that she was.... ENGAGED. dondonDOOOON. :why2:

So my question: should I tell her how I feel? or stay quiet and deal with it.

And if this is inappropriate for this forum or something the admins can gladly remove it.

Thank you for your responses.:bow-pray:
 

Ceewan

Famished
Jul 23, 2008
9,152
17,033
Tough one. But I have some free time so I will give it a shot.

So are you in the "friend zone"? probably I would think. Or you aren't close enough to her to be in the friend zone which is neither a good or bad thing. The only reason I ask is you have more to risk if you are friends. But if you were close you would have known she was serious about someone I suppose. So the chances of her dropping someone she has just agreed to a life long commitment with to be with someone she is not that close with is not good. The good news is she isn't married yet, you have little or nothing to lose here, and a planted seed may one day bare fruit. So by all means tell her, be gracious when she turns you down and give her knowing smiles and looks from time to time. Who can say for sure what the future has in store?
 

Aqua2213

New Member
Jul 23, 2008
777
59
Ya snooze, ya lose....

Gathered that courage a little late and if you didn't know she was engaged, like Ceewan said you couldn't have been that close.
Keep quiet about it and focus those feelings or energy into being a bestest friend from now on.
Telling her now would be awkward for both of you and possibly set you further apart.
My verdict: DON'T DO IT!
 

Mushibito

New Member
Sep 19, 2009
28
3
Let me explain; she is my best friend and the time when she got engaged was in a month that I hadn't spoken to her because of school. So it's not like we are not close we're very close... I mean heck we slept in the same bed for 2 years(long story). But I think your both right I snoozed I lost.

Thanks.:bow-pray:
 

xeffects

Active Member
Jun 5, 2009
532
150
I would recommend you don't, it is out of the question, she will turn you down on the spot. You can meet a girl, become her best friend and when you to end up falling in love, its the best thing that ever happened to you both. However, with love comes suffering and when you loose her after a break-up, she will never be your friend the same way or may not even be friends with you at all. Relationships destroy friendship completely, for those of us who get into relationships, we have to be aware that once we loose the one we love, we also lost her a friend.

Trust me, its better not to subject your heart to that kind of pain, you could ruin your friendship with her.

I am still trying to move on from my last relationship break-up, which feels like 911, you look into the past and only see tremendous damage and infamy and it could take you months or even years to move on and open your heart to someone again. But this is good, it makes you stronger in the end.

I operate on these rules now,

1. GOD --- have faith and he will open the doors for you
2. YOU --- with out, there is nothing, take care yourself, respect yourself.
3. FUTURE --- your future is important, if you don't have one, #2 doesn't even apply because you are nothing.
4. FAMILY --- your family will always be there, even if you fail. your family has their own agenda they need to follow and you shouldn't become a burden to them. don't rely purely on them to invest in your future, they may be too busy following their own set of rules.
5. SIGNIFICANT OTHERS --- a girlfriend or friends are #5. it doesn't matter how much you love your girlfreind, she can come and then she can go but you remain the same.

These rules are very important and function as a chain, you must focus on them in the order in which they are displayed otherwise, again, you become nothing......if you focused too much on #5, youd loose 4,3 and 2 ......not 1 because 1 will always be with you to guide you again to reconnect with 2,3 & 4.

It works the same way for the rest of the rules, if you focus too much on yourself, you loose everything bellow you. YOu must learn to transition from one rule to the other and have goals planned out for them.

Follow them and you will never have problems with your life.......I have a set of rules for relationships as well but I'm not going to post them, my post is already near the edges of being considered "spam" for going off topic a bit here.
 

xeffects

Active Member
Jun 5, 2009
532
150
OK I got some private messages on this in such a short time....ok, what if you focused on #1 and completely forgot about the rest. #1 GOD is your guidance and your source to reconnect with 2,3 and 4......so if you invested a lot of time in #1, your connection and your will to succeed in 2,3,4 and even 5 will be VERY STRONG because you carry with you the power of god. Rule #1 doesn't compare to the ones bellow, there just is no comparison.

Enough religious talk, lets get back on this relationship issue.......out.