Boyfriends of your girlfiends...

[Fuji Syusuke]

Hey guys and girls,

I didn't really know where to put this but this seemed like the right place, if not would a mod please move this to the right place (you have my thanks in advance). Also for those that didn't read my welcome thread i would just like to state that my english is bad so please forgive me if i spell anything wrong.

So, i just had a friendly chat with the boyfriend of one of my girlfriends (and with girlfiend i mean a female who happens to be my friend). So it seems that he wants to have a private chat with me (because when we chatted my "girlfriend" was there).

And this aways seems to happen, i happen to get to know a girl on a pure friendly bacis and then if she has a boyfriend they all want to meet me and talk to me privatly :S.

I've had this 3 times before and the first time the guy actually wanted to punch me out but his girlfriend stopped him and now that we got to know each other better we can talk to each other normally.

The second time this happend was with a great guy, he was really relaxed and even cooked me sopher (you know night time food, like rise and meat and stuff).

The third time i actually got threatend by this guy and seeing as we went to the same skool, when we got out i almost had to fight the guy. Luckily my classmates helped by stopping him and him and i had a good chat. That resolted in him never wanting his girlfriend to see me again ... strangly enough she called me the next day and didn't want to see me again :S.

And now this happened a fourth time ... plus this guy really looks like a troublemaker. Some times i'm thinking that i shouldn't be friends with girls anymore to avoid this problem but, girls just get me better when i'm talking about my feelings and i really can't talk about this stuff with my friends ...

so yeah :defeat:.

Ohw well, it's just a matter of time now. I'll keep you posted and please feel free to discuss, give advise or share your own expirance ^^.

 

[scarletsnow]

It is the way things are. If an apparent rival appears some guys will want to know the rival's intentions and others immediately go Cro-Magnon on the perceived rival.

For advice I would say get some fast running shoes and try to find some friends other than females in the same age range and currently in a relationship you can talk openly to.
And maybe your male friends do want to be more open about their feelings but feel they can't and put up a macho front or maybe not and they are indeed as the portrait themselves to be.

 

[Fuji Syusuke]

It's been a long time ^^. But well i'll never run away if somebody would tell me to stop hanging out wih there girlfriend. Only if she would say that she didn't want to see me again then i would stop meeting her.

In any case i've talked said girlfriend's boyfiend and he wasn't that happy =(, but afther the conversation he turned around ^^ so yeah i'm kinda in the clear.

And well i have other friends and i tryed talking to them as you suggested but with little luck. There is one though that doesn't feel restricted by not talking about it, only even though we're talking kinda openly about it it stille feels like where leaving stuff out.

 

[scarletsnow]

Good to read you got something out of my suggestions. I have some more, just to be sure I don't make things worse for you, even though it may be obvious.

They now know you're open to talking openly about your feelings or have an indication in that direction, it's up to them now. You're probably out of luck though and you really should not push it. They most likely resent you if you did.

A semi-open conversation means the glass is half empty. It used to be more than half empty. It also means it is now half full. Maybe in time it fill up naturally, again don't push it.

 

[ShanksYYZ]

They could just be trying to make friends. Logically it's a good thing to do, because if you think he's a good enough guy, when he and her (her being your girl friend) have a fight or something, you're not going to be all "dude get rid of her."

That's why I'd do it anyway.

 

[gaggermager1]

I think your message is a bit unclear...

What is your intention with the girls? For how long have you known them? What are you talking about? Do you know their boyfriends since before? Why do you want to be friend with the girls?

My guess is that their boyfriends think that you are trying to hit on their girlfriends or something and see you as a threat or being disrespectful.
Because I guess you aren't having a discussion with the girls about if abortion is right or wrong or something similar? Since their boyfriends get mad when you chat with them.

 

[seiya1]

"Well I have a boyfriend."
"Hes not invited." is my reply

Sorry but I find it funny that you try to be friends with a girls boyfriend. Make your goal clear to both of them, rather than getting into a tangled mess.

I just ignore it. It feels good that the guy feels threatend that you are around.

I had one of these recently. This girl who I had not seen in a while was sitting with some dude in campus, and I passed by and pretended to not see her. Made sure she noticed me. I was returning some books, and when coming back to where I had my stuff, she turned and looked straight at me, so I approached her. We talked for five minutes, and exchanged numbers. All this and the miserable bastard just sat there. Finally I pointed at him (he was not looking) with a facial expression saying "who the fuck is this?" She just said his name and he looked at me and I stared him down for a bit, then continued about my business. Even if he was bigger than me, what could he do? I had control of the situation and he looked like a chump.

To me there is no being "friends" with someone like that, a boyfriend, a suitor, etc. You are both getting at the same goal and there is no need for him so IGNORE HIM.


If a fight is eminent, mace to the face and beat the fuck out of him. I personally don't like to fight but do not mind beating someone's ass, there is no honor in fighting.

Girls that bring up having a boyfriend are no different from those that say they are religious or live with their parents. It is just a defense, and the way to break it is by ignoring it and make your intentions clear.

 

[Fuji Syusuke]

I think your message is a bit unclear...

What is your intention with the girls? For how long have you known them? What are you talking about? Do you know their boyfriends since before? Why do you want to be friend with the girls?

My guess is that their boyfriends think that you are trying to hit on their girlfriends or something and see you as a threat or being disrespectful.
Because I guess you aren't having a discussion with the girls about if abortion is right or wrong or something similar? Since their boyfriends get mad when you chat with them.

Oke i'll try to make this clear. This girl i've meet her via a friend of mine (she's the singer in my friends band).
My intentions are strictly friendly ... i don't want to sleep with her or to "steal" her away from her boyfriend and i've never made a pass at her.
The reason why i just want to be friends is that it's just easier to talk to girls about some things than it is to talk about those things with guys.
And what irritates me is that always when i talk to a girl (that is just wanne be friends with) that already has a boyfriend, there boyfriends always want to meet me and usually beat the sh*t outta me.

"Well I have a boyfriend."
"Hes not invited." is my reply

Sorry but I find it funny that you try to be friends with a girls boyfriend. Make your goal clear to both of them, rather than getting into a tangled mess.

Thats just it ... i never act like anything more then just a friend.

I just ignore it. It feels good that the guy feels threatend that you are around.

Yeah but usually even if the guy thinks i'm a thread, i'm not even if i want to be =p.

I had one of these recently. This girl who I had not seen in a while was sitting with some dude in campus, and I passed by and pretended to not see her. Made sure she noticed me. I was returning some books, and when coming back to where I had my stuff, she turned and looked straight at me, so I approached her. We talked for five minutes, and exchanged numbers. All this and the miserable bastard just sat there. Finally I pointed at him (he was not looking) with a facial expression saying "who the fuck is this?" She just said his name and he looked at me and I stared him down for a bit, then continued about my business. Even if he was bigger than me, what could he do? I had control of the situation and he looked like a chump.

To me there is no being "friends" with someone like that, a boyfriend, a suitor, etc. You are both getting at the same goal and there is no need for him so IGNORE HIM.

Well that's just it ... i'm not heading for that goal ... at least not with these girls ^^.

If a fight is eminent, mace to the face and beat the fuck out of him. I personally don't like to fight but do not mind beating someone's ass, there is no honor in fighting.

With you on that one.

Girls that bring up having a boyfriend are no different from those that say they are religious or live with their parents. It is just a defense, and the way to break it is by ignoring it and make your intentions clear.

Thanks for the advise/info =D.

 

[gaggermager1]

Oke i'll try to make this clear. This girl i've meet her via a friend of mine (she's the singer in my friends band).
My intentions are strictly friendly ... i don't want to sleep with her or to "steal" her away from her boyfriend and i've never made a pass at her.
The reason why i just want to be friends is that it's just easier to talk to girls about some things than it is to talk about those things with guys.
And what irritates me is that always when i talk to a girl (that is just wanne be friends with) that already has a boyfriend, there boyfriends always want to meet me and usually beat the sh*t outta me.

I see.

Well then I guess I'm right. Their boyfriends want to beat you up because they think that you want more than just friendship with the girl. I would get mad if some guy want to hang out with my girlfriend alone because I would see it as he knows that it's my girlfriend but doesn't respect it.

I suggest you to be friends with girls that doesn't have a boyfriend and you will be fine. I doubt that if they would get a boyfriend after she became friends with you, that her boygfriend would get mad since you and the girl were already friends since before.

 

[Fuji Syusuke]

I see.

Well then I guess I'm right. Their boyfriends want to beat you up because they think that you want more than just friendship with the girl. I would get mad if some guy want to hang out with my girlfriend alone because I would see it as he knows that it's my girlfriend but doesn't respect it.

I suggest you to be friends with girls that doesn't have a boyfriend and you will be fine. I doubt that if they would get a boyfriend after she became friends with you, that her boygfriend would get mad since you and the girl were already friends since before.

Well yeah i can see where there comming from, but they don't seem to trust there girlfriend very much by acting like that. Also there doing it to keep there girlfriend, but actually in my eyes not having that trust from sombody would actually hurt your relationship more.

I really don't see where respect is comming from, thats like saying that every guy needs to back off when he's talking to your girlfriend and gets to know that she has a boyfriend. That just seems silly to me.

And when i meet those girls i usually have a nice conversation with them and i don't intend to cut off our bonds just because she a boyfriend.

 

[gaggermager1]

"The reason why i just want to be friends is that it's just easier to talk to girls about some things than it is to talk about those things with guys."
I don't think that they necessarily mistrust their girlfriends, it's just bothers most people when someone want to have an emotional relationship with their partner. Which is kind of the point with an relationship (and sex of course hehe).

About the back off thing, there is a line! If some guy greet my girlfriend with a hung and a pet on the back is totally fine but if he would hug her every 10 minute I would kick him in the face...

When you want to have private emotional chats with someone's girlfriend, you are crossing that line and therefore being disrespectful.

I'd suggest you to just get your own girlfriend. Then you can talk with her everyday without having someone to threat you for doing it. Also you can fuck her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Awesome!


Or, you can tell their boyfriends that you're homosexual and the'll leave you and the girl alone since you don't want to have sex with them anyway.

 

[Fuji Syusuke]

!!!This Post Is Ment To Be Read From Bottom To Top Starting With The Last Quote (because i'm to lazy to copy and past)!!!

"The reason why i just want to be friends is that it's just easier to talk to girls about some things than it is to talk about those things with guys."
I don't think that they necessarily mistrust their girlfriends, it's just bothers most people when someone want to have an emotional relationship with their partner. Which is kind of the point with an relationship (and sex of course hehe).

About the back off thing, there is a line! If some guy greet my girlfriend with a hung and a pet on the back is totally fine but if he would hug her every 10 minute I would kick him in the face...

When you want to have private emotional chats with someone's girlfriend, you are crossing that line and therefore being disrespectful.

Oke i see your point, never really looked at it that way ... guess that makes sence.

I'd suggest you to just get your own girlfriend. Then you can talk with her everyday without having someone to threat you for doing it. Also you can fuck her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Awesome!

Trust me if i could, then i wouldn't have the urge to talk to girls in the first place.

Or, you can tell their boyfriends that you're homosexual and the'll leave you and the girl alone since you don't want to have sex with them anyway.

I Actually tried that once ... xD but the guy didn't belief me =p.