Performance anxiety? Too much porn? Problems with penetrative sex

I need to get this off my chest, so bear with me.

I did a casual date with an Asian tourist. A lot of them here in Hawaii. We talked in English since her not-so-good English is leagues better than my Japanese. Kissing led to deep kissing led to a great blowjob. I gave her oral, which she clearly enjoyed. She thank me for it. I was taken aback because I've never been thanked for oral ever so it seemed strange to me. Maybe it was a language barrier thing. Put on a cover and then we go into the penetrative sex. Then things went south. I lost my erection when she was on top after a few minutes. She was a bit awkward being on top and so I wasn't into it. I lasted much longer pounding her doggie style, felt awesome, but after shifting positions a bit, I lost it again. She kindly finished me with her hands and mouth.

I'm frustrated. I don't know what happened. She was hot and I enjoyed her company. I stayed hard in her hand and mouth, but I'm limp in her. WTF. Not that it really matters long term, we don't have a relationship and this is a one shot thing and she'll be back in Japan in days anyway. At least we both had a good time with oral. There's that at least. Nevertheless, I'm bothered by this.

Up until last week, I haven't had sex this year. Been trying the dating to get into a serious relationship and all that. Failed and so I said "fuck it" and hit the casual dating scene. In my case, hot tourists looking for fun. and I'm happy to obliged. So much easier. But my problem of seeking easy fucks and failing at long term is a different issue.

Anyway, as I said, last week I had my first successful casual date. Mixed Japanese/Korean-American tourist from LA. She was direct and asked me, "do you want to fuck me?" I've never been directly asked that before, so damn, that was a turn on to hear that. I successfully fucked her to completion. She even complimented my "strength", which I guess was referring to how hard I was going. But... I did go limp once when we were switching positions, but was that was only a minor speed bump and I recovered from it. However, that was in the back of my mind going into this week's encounter that I think has contributed to some performance anxiety?

My junk clearly works and can stay hard. So it definitely seems to be a psychological thing rather than something to be fixed with Viagra and such. My internet browsing suggests that it could be due to my porn exposure. I mean, as I said, I hadn't had sex in a while and it was just jerking off to JAV for months. The encounter last week was more porn-like with her directness and me fucking her as hard as I could. While this week's encounter was more slow and intimate. Maybe in my fucked up mind that's no longer exciting. I just don't know.

I'd like to hear some thoughts on the matter. If I'm lucky enough to have another sexual encounter any time soon, I'll report what happens as another data point in troubleshooting my problem.

For the last encounter (the one that didn't work out), it was about two days since last jerk off. I'll try to put in as many no porn/jerking off days as possible before next dates. Though it'll be tough on days the dates don't lead to going to bed...

I never heard of horny goat weed. I'll have to look into that. Is it something you take everyday or so or only on dates?

I've ordered a bottle of horny goat weed to see if that helps in the short term. In addition I plan to (1) reduce fapping but if I do, don't use visual/audio aids (not just porn). At this point, I never fap w/o material since it is so easy to pull something up on my phone, for example. (2) Quit porn since that will likely lead to breaking (1). Though I'll still check out JPH!P/reddit/instagram for Kpop/Jpop/idols/models, unless that starts leading me to break (1). That's the harder thing to quit for me to quit than porn actually.

I was at Wal-Mart, saw and picked up Extenze. Original, as they didn't have fast acting. There were some alternatives but I don't remember the names. I've taken it for two days and on both days, I've been HUNGRY for food all day. Eating only makes it go away for an hour or so. Shit gives me the munchies and not much else as far as I can tell. Googling I couldn't find other people with the same reaction. I also checked some of the ingredients but didn't find anything for hunger. Stuff like yohimbe may cause stomach upset, but that's not what this is. Can't narrow down which ingredient I'm having this reaction to. Going to stop this one. Don't need weight gain as a new issue! haha Hopefully I have normal hunger tomorrow...

Thanks for the tips so far. I quit Extenze Original and I no longer have the munchies (as much) now. Only have tried Zhou Nutrition Horny Goat Weed with Maca Root for the past 6 days. Not very consistent as I missed two days. No side effects in the short term so far.

Last week when I was trying Extenze and jerking off w/o a/v material, I did notice I don't get fully erect. Enough to get the job done solo, but not as hard as I know I can go. Further evidence that my issues are tied to always jerking off to porn or idols.

I had a date today, but hard to say if I'm getting better with just one data point. I don't have sex very often I didn't take the masturbate before the date advice because my problem is staying hard and not needing to last longer. But I should've taken that advice it turns out. The first three days of not masturbating was easy. On date day, the fourth day, I was horny af. I was so close to masturbating earlier today. Had to go out and chill for a bit to cool down haha During the date I kept getting a hard on just looking at her. Had to turn away at times to calm myself and get a breather. She kept smiling at me, so I'm guessing she noticed my behavior (and boner). Anyway, the sex was the most amazing I've ever felt. BUT I think it was my first time fucking w/o a cover. She preferred no cover and thinking with my dick I went with it. 10 min later when she was having an orgasm, she said to cum in her. In disbelief I asked "you want me to cum in you?", she confirmed. Her orgasm was the most amazing thing I've ever felt and I blew my load in her. The sensation felt so much stronger w/o a condom. Solves my staying hard problem, but I don't know if it is worth the risk. I think its pretty clear this ain't her first no cover rodeo...

Felt so good though. I so want more uncovered sex. I know it is a terrible idea, sitting back thinking about it now, but in the moment... Conflicted about it. Luckily, I don't think most girls would obliged anyway haha

I need a steady gf but damn, I have zero success there with online dating and I don't socialize anywhere any more (miss being a student now). It's only good for finding girls looking to fuck in paradise. Only need to be impressed for a couple hours. I'm a freaking boring guy these days. Work. Video games. Eat. Exercise. Asian porn/idol sites. Masturbate. Repeat. I need a life.

Sorry. I'm blogging my shitty life here. I need my anonymous place vent.

Time for me to blog again. Whoa, it has been a month since I got laid. And luckily fixed that this week The girl was awesome and I just have to blog about her later in this post.

Thanks, Ceewan for the Rhino pill tip! I didn't find any of those in your pics or mentioned in the podcast, but I tried "Black 3K Plus" that does have an outline of rhino. As the podcast mentioned, I do suspect this thing had Cialis in it as I did experience its side effects I saw online, headache and vision with a reddish tint for a few hours. Headache was most annoying since it woke me up in the middle of the night and I pop an ibuprofen to knock that out and get back to sleep. Long term the goal is still to be able for me to maintain erections naturally, as while it looks like getting a Cialis prescription would work out for me, I don't want the side effects of having to take headache pills regularly (liver, ulcer, etc. issues).

I also failed my porn ban. I ended up binging on JAV and masturbating like 3 times the day before meeting up with the girl. What happened was I took the above pill because it said it lasts for days and I wanted to experience the side effects being meeting up (still had to pop another ibuprofen before meeting up though, but vision was good). The sucker made me horny af too it seems, which led to the JAV.

A side effect of my porn ban is that I've been checking out more Jpop girls and my taste for ladies have shifted to the younger end, teens to early 20's. I'm early 30's so I tend to sleep with late 20's at least these days. In any case, the girl I meet up with this week is a foreign exchange college student, early 20's, as young as I'm willing to go! The largest age between me and a woman I've fucked. She resembles Koharu Suzuki with smaller boobs and narrower eyes. Definitely attractive and made me a fan of Koharu, who starred in two of the JAV in my previously mentioned binge. She's the reason why Koharu caught my eye when browsing torrents. I like her girl-next-door looks so much. She's here till the end of the school term, so I'm going to try to meet up and fuck her as much as possible in the two months or so left. I know I'm going to miss her when she's gone already. I need to not fall in love.

The sex with her was amazing. That rhino pill worked wonders. I was hard for the full duration, even when we were just making out. I think the pill has made me last longer, perhaps too long? I did use a condom and she felt tight and great. Not as awesome as bare, but great enough as I wasn't risking that again, so I don't think that alone explains it. After a lot of foreplay, we both took turns being in control and going at it for like 30 minutes until we were both exhausted and still didn't cum. But this girl... she can take it. I loved it and so did she. Her body was twitching the moment I entered her and she had at least 5 body twitching organisms. I've never seen the likes of that before. Made me feel like a JAV star. The bottleneck now isn't my erection, it's my endurance. There's only so long I can sustain banging away. Luckily she could give herself orgasms as I laid back and relaxed. We didn't lube up, so I was really surprised how wet my fingers got trying to guide my dick back into her when changing positions. She was so wet! BEST SEX I HAD EVER. The only negative was that we both eventually ran out of energy so she finished me off with a blowjob/handjob. She spits, not swallows, but not like I care either way haha I would've preferred to pull out, rip off the condom and blow my load in her face and mouth. Not really sure if she'd be up for that though LOL She wants to continue meeting and I presume fucking, so we'll see. Oh yeah. Again best sex I ever had because I've never pleased a woman THIS MUCH before. I didn't have the most mind-blowing orgasm ever, but the feeling of having pleasing her is so much more important to me.

Going to have to get more and endure these headache dick pills. Worth it short term, but as I said I worry about the side effects of regularly taking headache meds.

I need to hit the gym and work on that endurance. Probably could do better at pacing myself, but with all her moaning, it was clear she wanted hard this time. Maybe do more sensual next time to mix things up.