Shy Guys, How to Ever have Great SX? - Akiba-Online

josolopSon3 · #1 05-21-2009, 12:29 PM

We shy guys, don't even have female friends, and many of us have never had a GF. It's like an unreachable dream, and yet we love sex and hope we can have it.

Actualy, i've even fantasized about having it with 2 girls at once. But i'm just a shy guy, and there is no way i can find a GF unless i pay for strippers. I'm not looking for strippers or casual stuff, i need a real relationship so the SX wil be special.

Oh and since this site is about JAV, i'll add that I also like japanese girls. So that's even harder. Most japanese women that come to the USA want to meet outgoing dudes with game. I'm just a sensitive shy guy , so it seems really impossible.

I've had Japanese voice chats in chat programs. Many times awesome conversations, but in chat and voice chat i can express myself and be myself. I'm not good at being my self when i actually meet the person in real life.

Any tips?? i'm in my late 20's.

gaggermager1 · #2 05-21-2009, 04:48 PM

I'we had the same experience as you when I was a teenager. I would rather call it socially handicapped or social phobia. I'm still a shy person but have managed to pull of some ONS. It's a big diffirence between being shy and standing quiet in a corner lookinig at the floor.

To get rid of that "fear" of taking contact and have conversations with girls or people in general took a while but it gave results. What I started with was to contact girls over the internet through non-romantic topics and started to write to eatch other on msn or e-mail. If someone block you from msn it's completely normal. But there will always be someone who genuinly likes chatting with you but it might take a long time. (I talked with a girl who became my first girlfriend over 1 year on msn before we first met!)
When you feel ready for it, ask her to talk with voice chat with or without webcam. This is only for making you more comfortable with talking with a girl and look at her at the same time. The more girls you do it with, the more comfortable you will get and easier to continue with a conversation.
If I understood right, you don't have so much problem with having a voice chat with girls which is good. The next step is to ask them out.

It hasn't have to be a date. It can be just for friendship. For example if you both like boats, you can go to a boat museum or something equivalent. Since you've been chatting/talking alot before you meet, you will feel less shy about it or, it won't be as scary. Try to do this as much as possible and eventually you'll feel like a better person and more confident. When you are more confident, asking for a date and hitting on girls will come natural.
Good luck.

Ps. About scoring with girls with special preferences is a bit too advanced for you at this moment. Save that for later. I'd suggest to start low and go to higher levels when you know you can. Ds.

ibarrz · #3 05-21-2009, 06:00 PM

you need a bad guy friend with u so he can help u on that..

jupiter999 · #4 05-21-2009, 11:46 PM

Hi, josolopSon3
I'm exactly the same as you, OMG

But I don't fantasized about 2 girls at once

One is pretty good already...
A girl just like my avatar

I'm 27 already, never have a girlfriend yet as well...
I'm such a failure

serlibre · #5 05-22-2009, 03:45 AM

it's hard you know but to think that even the people in the jail most of them have a girlfriend or married giveme hope

serlibre · #6 05-22-2009, 03:46 AM

oh i forgot im 28 years old soon 29(in june 5)

kbryc08 · #7 05-22-2009, 10:27 AM

Why can't a shy guy get a girlfriend? Just because you're shy doesn't mean you can't get some and that negative thinking doesn't help you at all. I don't think you were having awesome voice chats the first time you started doing that, the same would apply to socializing with girls.

Put yourself in a situation that would let you socialize with girls and keep on doing it. Then once socializing becomes easy and you can start thinking about improving your game. A few obvious situations would be parties and hanging out with friends who have female friends (lol). Some other situations you can take advantage of are your routine chores such as grocery shopping, clothes shopping, going to the bank, etc. Strike up a conversation with your lady cashier, bank teller or whoever. Even if it's a simple hello, how are you.

Like gaggermager1 said, the more you do it the easier it becomes. There will be awkward situations, but that's part of the learning process. You'll probably hear a lot of things about how to get girls but the one thing that nearly everyone agrees on is confidence. Believe in yourself! I will leave you with this quote.

"Are you a mexi-can or a mexi-can't?" - Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Ceewan · #8 05-22-2009, 11:10 AM

nice comments kbryc08.

I had my shy period, I suppose I still have some social issues but who doesn't?

If you don't want to be a shy guy then seek to change. It is just a form of fear, being shy. The only way to get rid of it, to change, is to face it. Put youself in social situations and I mean mixed social situations. I don't mean in order to get laid, sex is great, no argument there, but you need to get comfortable associating with other people and the opposite sex. The last thing you want is to become some meek, weak willed guy some girl can push around because she puts out. You have to protect yourself from that because there are lazy women who will take advantage of a guy and trust me, you don't want that.

After you put youself in some social circles, maybe some part-time college classes or church functions or something along those lines. Then take the leap when you start to get a little more confidence and go hunting for some girls. But don't hunt in the new social circles, go elsewhere. Go to bars or clubs and drink soda or coffee and find girls who are looking for what you are looking for, sex. Girls enjoy sex and actively seek partners. You would not believe the confidence you get from some one night stands. It can be a mutually satisfying and enlightening experience. So much so that some guys never want to get tied down to a serious relationship. You can be that guy. If after playing the field in your spare time you still are looking for a serious relationship, you will have no problem finding one. Probably some girl in one of the social circles you have been involved in has been secretly lusting for you and has noticed the change in confidence in you, maybe one of your one night stands is just to good to pass up on a regular basis and something real and deep occurs.

Regardless, get some more experience under your belt or some girl is going to make life living hell for you. Finding the right fit for you takes work and it takes courage. You can't just hang out with any girl, have sex with her, and be happy. I wish it was that easy, for some lucky few it might be but don't count on it.

reyoasian · #9 06-06-2009, 12:54 AM

I'm assuming you are white? To me, this "shy" thing is really just a personality. Some people are born natural outgoing, some are not. I was kind of shy before, but after each girlfriend I've always become more confident, and things got easier and more smooth. So really, "shyness" isn't permanent; you can definitely grow out of it. It just takes time and practice, you just need something to set you off then you will be good to go.

Since you are in your 20's, I'd suggest going to bars and clubs and get some alcohol in your system to begin with. Guys definitely got more balls when they're tipsy. Then maybe it will give you a little more courage to start up a conversation.

Have you watched The Big Bang Theory? It's about a group of friends (scientists) and one of them cannot talk to a girl no matter what, unless he has a bit of alcohol in his system. Like, he can't even look at a girl and say "hi". Yeah I know it's just a show but I guess it's just an exaggerated version of reality right?

kamenramen · #10 06-08-2009, 10:30 PM

Mate, you need to tear down this nice, sensitive side and bury it. I was the same when i was younger, but once i started forcing myself out more, putting myself into new unfamiliar situations i eventually came out of my shell.

Couple of things, join a gym, regular exercise has two benefits, 1) it'll help you look good, never a bad thing, and 2) It boosts you're self confidence no end, something from the look of your post you could seriously do with.

Take up some hobbies that get you out there, looking for advice on the internet only gets you so far, i for example got involved with some of the societies that run at my local university (i'm not a student at the university, i just use their services :D ), there's a dance society i'm involved with, gymnastics and art societies as well, a few years ago something like this would of terrified me, now i can't think of my life without these weekly events.

An added bonus of the societies is they regularly have social events where we go out to clubs or whatever so you've got a large group of mates backing you up, if i'm out talking to some girl and she shoots me down i can just go back to my group and laugh it off, then maybe i'll try again later if i see someone else i like.

Like i say, kill this nice sensitive side, it's unattractive, they'll always be a strong, confident guy who'll be a lot more attractive to the girl you're interested in, find some interests that get you out there and give you something interesting to talk about while you're chatting to a potential girlfriend.